Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
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so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
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Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.