No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
splinters make it hard to masturbate
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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