There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
smell my finger.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?