i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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