Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
