i would punch a child for taco bell
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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