but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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