i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
