Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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