YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize