i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize