Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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