I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
