Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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