I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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