D3 body, D1 cock
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
