I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
