he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
