South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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