ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
