I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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