You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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