Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
