Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
