alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
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i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
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I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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