its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
