Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
