thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
