i barfeds in our rink
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
