I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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