My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize