whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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