I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
