I hate all girls vehemently.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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