she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
