dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
