He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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