He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
