you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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