Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
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Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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