it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
