he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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