Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
