I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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