You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
