i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
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it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
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you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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