Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
false alarm. still invincible.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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