dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
