So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
