just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize