chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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