So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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