hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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