She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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