just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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