You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
birth control should be required to get into college
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
