Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
