i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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