Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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