He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
No stitches, just platelets and will power
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize