I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
