please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he fucked my hip out of place.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
