I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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