I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
