How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
false alarm, still single
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
