Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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