I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
