there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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