I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
