covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
