She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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