break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
