Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
do nipples grow back?
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