like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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