That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
