i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize